Why The New Year New You Doesn’t Work.
We are just a few weeks away before we official celebrate the end of 2018 and the hopeful start to 2019. With that, comes the affirmations and the determination that “THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT!” But before you sign up for that year long membership, or you get online and purchase all the latest gear and supplements, let me save you from having to dig that product out months from now to sell on facebook market place, or from the shear anxiety that you will have by having to call the gym to cancel your membership that you stopped using mid-February.
New Year, New You? Really…? Why not new Monday new you? Or new month new you? It’s because it will not work. It will not sustain. That tag line was created to market towards those who are sick and tired of living in the body that they felt they’ve been trapped in for the past 12 months, or the past 12 years. It was created for those who finally say this is enough!! It speaks to those out there who say, “that’s right, I deserve this, It’s time for a new me!”
But the fundamental flaw isn’t in the marketing. Like I said, that tag line is genius. It plays so eloquently on our emotional desire for change. To finally feel good about ourselves, our health and fitness. That this year is going to be different. To finally feel accepted. To no longer feel ashamed for what we’ve done to ourselves. How we let ourselves go. Because ultimately for you to achieve that change, for you to get what you desire the most requires a new you, correct? That’s why you will fail. Sorry (not sorry), if you think that I’m being too synical, but its true. I mean what’s wrong with the old you? I mean I get it, you don’t like where you are, but girl, buying a new pair of shoes only covers up the un-manicured foot. So if you really want this year to be different, than you gotta start with why you don’t like it in the first place.
Let me explain, it is 2018, we currently have more free information than we have ever had in our lifetime. There are health and fitness coaches online and gyms on almost every corner. Supplement stores, health food blogs, keto this, paleo that. You literally have to walk out your door and avoid good advice because it is everywhere. So if you are not happy where you are with your health and fitness, it is NOT because YOU DON’T KNOW! It’s because YOU DON’T WANNA! And before you sit there and say “yes I do,” then I will ask you again, if you do want to be healthier, if you do want to be more active, more confident, sexier with your spouse, energetic with your kids, all the things that you think the new year will bring, than why aren’t you right now? I’ll say it again, ITS BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO.
I can tell you what to eat, and I can tell you what workout to do and those things will work. You can also google that and find out for yourself. If you google search right now, “how to lose weight,” within less than a second google will return thousands upon thousands of results. Yet millions of people are still struggling. You may even follow someone on social media because you like the way they look, they have thousands of followers, and you’re thinking oooohhhhh they must have a secret I don’t. They have cracked the code. Trust me, they haven’t.
I know from those that I work with, who will be successful and who will not. I know from the first meeting, who will see some success, and then slide right back into old addictive behaviors. And before you get too caught up in that word addict, if you have made it this far into my article because any of the above describes you, than you, just like me, are an addict. However, that is for another post.
The reason that I know is because those who are caught up in the technicals, don’t even realize that the technicals don’t matter. It’s not the food making you fat. It’s not the, not going to the gym making you lazy. It’s the WHY ARE YOU EATING THAT that’s making you fat. It’s the WHY AREN’T YOU GOING TO THE GYM OR WORKING OUT, that’s making you lazy. And The number one reason why 95% of the people who try, will not succeed this year is because asking themselves those two questions is just to damn hard to answer. I learned personally that I kept eating food that did not serve me because I felt I did not deserve good things. If I tried to do something and failed, than to me that was much more painful than not trying at all.
To sit on the couch, watch TV that filled my head with mindless junk, eating crap that made me fat and sick, was much easier at the time than dealing with the fact that my finances were out of control, or that my marriage was just a short step towards divorce. Because dealing with my responsibilities was hard. It hurt. It hurt to admit that not only did I give up on myself, but I sabotaged myself. And blaming work, things, time and people was much easier, than admitting it was just me the whole time.
Now you may not have those same issues as I did, you may have other things that you feel are much bigger. The point I’m trying to make is, as long as you have a “thing”, you’ll never have what you want. No new membership, piece of equipment, or pair of shoes will make it better or make you new and whole. Make you whole first and then all the abundances of life that you want just start to fall in. An exercise that you can do today, that will cost you nothing, but could give you everything is this right here. Sit down with a piece of paper. Take fifteen minutes away from your kids, your spouse, your hectic life. Write down these two questions: First “What do you want to change” and second “why do you want to change it.” Try to be really honest with yourself, your why should be tied to an emotion. You should FEEL why you want something. Look out for generic answers like, I wanna look good in my jeans. Which is fine if you do, but why? WHAT IS THE EMOTION THAT LOOKING GOOD IN YOUR JEANS WILL GIVE YOU? Take the time today to complete this, don’t put this exercise off. When you’re finished I’d love to hear your comments about how you feel this exercise will make the shift in your life that you’ve been searching for.